I should let myself cry out at the top of my lungs, well at least here, literally.
It has been few times the same person come into my dream,
I am that kind of person who don't simply believe on facebook quote "jika mimpikan seseorang bermakna dia sedang merinduimu" whadehek yall facebook people are so funny isn't it???
But what if its really true.... Hmm
Macam mana kalau dia memang betul2 tengah berdoa, and his prayers all pointing out to me? Hmm
Sometimes, I will wake up from my deep sleep with tears after I got the dream. I feel like it's torturing my mind. Can't seem to have my breath properly. Quite confusing and I'll be like "alah mimpi je pun" Tapi dah banyak kali pulak ni, and it comes in 'seasonal', tak tahu la nak rasa apa. I'll immediately having flashbacks moments happen right in front of my eyes.
The first day we talked to each other because of our group work.
The first day we took photo together.
The time that we cherish all the moments as friends in high school years.
The time we're struggling and preparing for our exam when it just around the corner.
The day that you decided to be with someone else. I backed off realizing I am just a friend, how precious your relationship at that time.
The day that you went away, I am the one who reluctant and insisted to run whenever we nearly bumped bcos of one incident. I admit that I was too ashamed with my own behavior.
And then, he left. Without saying anything.
Then he came back, texted to me out of the blue (Whatsapp doesn't exist back then haha) asking for forgiveness. Yang peliknya, aku je sorang member perempuan yang dia minta maaf. I still remember each of his sentences that just show how pure he was.
I want to meet you but I know its never going to happen. My mind says "you should let go of everything". But my heart won't let me to do, instead "you should wait for him"
For how long?
I don't even know where comes the strength, full of confidence saying that clearly he is waiting for me too, atau aku je yang perasan terlebih sebab masih tersepit dengan memori lama.
Keeping a strong faith, Allah listen my prayers. Allah will always be with me. I don't like seeing myself with that kind of condition so I'll just let it slide for now. He indeed knows what's the best for me right? Chill.