25 August 2014

#79

Recently, I met a friend of mine and we were busy chatting like there's no tomorrow haha. He is one of my close friend. So many things we do talk about, random but more into heart-to-heart talk. Sound cheesy, isn't it? LOL. Too much issues, about our family, friends and even about our future life partner, jodoh thingy. Okay LOL again.

I even told him about my anxiety of this particular thing that bother me very well these past of few days. Dia pun sama, dah macam sesi kaunseling pulak rasanya.

I will find myself a complete idiot if I told here my kind of anxiety. But it's really happened anyway.

Bila aku cerita perihal aku tempoh hari, then he will be like "Asal aku tak tahu wey? Sampai hati tak cerita,"

Bukan tak nak cerita. Kadang-kadang, aku lebih memilih untuk pendam. I would shut my mouth, and keep it myself, rather than telling everyone. Hidup kita ada pilihan sama ada untuk bercerita atau tidak. Bukan semua orang suka dengar cerita kita.

We used to talk like this since we were classmates back then. During our college life, it has been quite sometime to have this kind of opportunity. I don't even know why, maybe bcs we were too busy with our hectic life or he was no longer my classmate anymore, or should I say both of us not too clinging with each other on that moment.

But, if any of my friend have going through hard time, I'll try my best to cheer them up. Even somehow at the end the hurt one will be me. I don't mind at all, I just want to be a good friend, knowing that my presence as a friend could help them to fix their problem. That's the least thing I could do.

When that person told me "I know you will always there for me", I was reluctant to give my words. Maybe for him that was a meaningless joke, but for me it is vice versa. That's definitely a hope from my friend.

I'm sorry if one day I could not be as you wish. I will be away from the place I belong to, so please take care of yourself very well dude. I know you won't read this, but if somebody did not blurt it out about your disease, I would never discover that you're suffering actually.

I was a little bit regret of myself, how come I didn't know about that? Kalau aku tak paksa dia suruh cerita, memang langsung tak tahu. Is it relevant for you to stay hide?

Dude, thanks for the comfort words on that night. Aku akan ingat pesan kau.
"Buat tak tahu je, makin kau ingat, yang kau berharap takkan terjadi itu lah yang terjadi"
Ya rabbi, aku sumpah tak nak terlibat lagi hal-hal melibatkan perasaan ni. Tapi aku manusia, aku mampu berdoa dijauhkan dengan perkara yang aku memang dah tak nak hadap lagi.

Whatever shit happens, people may talk about you again and again, accuse you with no reason, keep on blaming you, I wish you please stay strong.

May Allah bless you. May our friendship will grow stronger even we're far apart :)

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