21 November 2013

That feeling


Hungry? Grab a Snickers.

It's been a while that feeling didn't approach me.
Somehow, I feel glad because I can get rid of it.
Berhajat supaya that feeling isn't exist anymore till I reach 20. Ceh berapa bulan je lagi umur nak 20.
But on the other hand, sometimes I'm not at all :(

Since I'm not clinging into anyone, I do have a crush. Well, to have a crush on someone is not a crime. But yeah, he's all taken by a friend of mine.
Dan aku pun tak kisah lah, since he's my friend jugak aku anggap dia kawan biasa. Ingat senang nak anggap macam kawan biasa? I would say, its hard to handle, to care, to persuade yourself except if you're strong enough to face it with all your heart.
I get to know him well slowly, day by day and alhamdulillah that feeling pun hilang dengan sendirinya.
Truthfully, The Greatest One shows me all the signs that obviously he is NOT for me.

Entah, kadang2 aku takut. Aku takut nak beri peluang dekat orang lain, end up aku cuma mampu tengok je orang sekeliling dan kisah cinta diorang. To be honest, I'm happy in that way. Free from all love matters that doesn't bug me even more sebab diri sendiri pun tak terurus kahkahkah.

I might a lil bit of being overboard but I can't deny the fact that I am afraid of breaking up. Aku dah lama move on, but to let someone enter your heart after a long time can never be easy.
I just can't give you the chance because I afraid you might be hurt. Cause the words that I gave to you last time, we're not that close as we used to be.
Bunyi macam kejam tau tapi aku memang kejam sebenarnya. Aku cuma tak nak jadi macam yang sebelum2 ni, aku bagi diorang harapan. Cuma aku mohon, kalau kita ada jodoh, kau jangan risau lah. Allah has a better plan for both of us. Kalau termaktub bukan kita yang Allah nak, jadi redha. Ada yang lebih baik dari aku. Banyak benda nak fokus selain dari cari partner sehidup semati ni.
In case if you're reading this, buat-buat tak tahu jelah eh? Don't blurt out in front of me tau.

Tak apa, perjalanan aku masih panjang.
Aku pun dah janji dengan diri, aku nak capai dulu apa yang aku nak dalam hidup ni. Ambition is my top priority. Selagi belum bersedia, selagi belum sampai seru (seru mendaaaa) selagi tu buat rilek je la. Who knows your story is way different than you expected all this while?

Yeah, still wondering.

 

Finally I've finished all the episodes of The Master's Sun!
Best drama of the year I can say.

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